"Welcome dear contestant, to the experience of a lifetime inside the reinforced walls of Porkchop's Horror Show! Where the brave and mentally unstable alike come to throw their lives away for the promise of money, prizes and fame. Survive the winding corridors of the haunted meat factory, where our mechanical-but-maniacal friend Porkchop will hunt you down and make you wish your death were as quick and painless as a simple jumpscare!"

"Unrepentant thrill-seeker! Face the many death traps laid out before you, each one more intricate and horrifying than the last, as each new episode ups the ante on the budget, the violence, the death, the scares, and the mysterious and convoluted story surrounding our titular living mascot character that keeps pulling our audience back for more with every new installment."

"Do you have what it takes to beat Porkchop’s Horror Show?"